Statement of Intent feedback and learner response

 BUTT, Muhammed

Mark: 4

Grade: D

Comments for AQA:

  • This is an incredibly detailed statement of intent with regards to the music video element of the brief but lacks reference to print or much on the key concepts beyond language. This keeps in it level 2 despite the music video concept clearly meeting the brief. Indeed, it targets the specified audience largely appropriately and outlines an appropriate narrative.
  • Media language elements are considered for the music video but not the print brief. Explanation of shots is often provided but overall this reads more like a pre-production shot list rather than a statement of intent. 
  • Representation is not really addressed in this statement – reference to narrative theory instead which is a key weakness that keeps it to the lower levels. Some reference to gender/masculinity puts this into level 2.
  • Audience is addressed but perhaps needs more reference to the brief.
  • Media industries and digital convergence addressed briefly towards end but without the depth or explanation/justification needed for the top levels.
  • Print element of brief is missing entirely which naturally keeps this in the lower levels.

Feedback:

  • This is an incredibly detailed layout of the video but far too many words are used doing that and you’re missing critical elements elsewhere. I’m sure you can balance this up and move the mark up for the final draft.
  • For Media language, I think you need to select certain shots or elements of media language that are communicating specific things to the audience and focus on those. The word count is far too long in the media language/shots section so you need to find a way to cut it down.
  • Think about layout for your statement – perhaps consider some additional subheadings / bullet points in places. This may help save you words in the word count. The key element of statements of intent is ‘how’ or ‘why’. What are you trying to communicate to the audience? You mention plenty of shots but don’t always say what the shot will be of which is holding you back. Just cut those ones out.
  • Audience needs looking at – you don’t mention what is specified in the brief which is holding you back. Can you bring in more theory?
  • Representation is the key weakness – you have a section on this but then go into narrative theory. Discussion of gender is better but look again at theories and how/why.
  • Print brief is missing completely - go back to this in January to add this when you have done the print research and planning tasks.

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